Fulfilment comes not from the stuff of life but from connection with life says Jessica McGregor Johnson
Have you ever had the feeling that you no longer fit your current life, or it doesn’t fit you? Maybe you are feeling bewildered, or frustrated or even angry. There you are having worked so hard, strived to create a certain lifestyle, and after all this time and effort you find that it doesn’t fulfil you any more. You no longer look forward to the things that you used to enjoy, and even when things go well and you achieve your objectives, it feels like an empty victory. It is like you are aiming for the wrong goal.
Why is this? Why do we seemingly grow out of our life? Well because growing up never finishes. And that’s not wrong – life is supposed to be like that. We just never learnt that we need to allow this journey to unfold. It is when we make what we are doing half way through our life the end that the problems start.
But there is still the question about why it happens and dealing with the disappointment that it has. When we first choose our lifestyle – which includes career, where we want to live, our interests, hobbies, and the people we have fun with – we do so from the person we are in that moment. Our likes, dislikes, desires, beliefs, interests, and outside influences all have a bearing on what we choose.
However a lot of people who made a conscious choice about their life now find themselves disinterested and disillusioned. When I hear this I cheer! Why? Because it means that they are growing as human beings. They are moving and changing and learning more about themselves, becoming more in tune with who they are. Often they also find that people they once had a lot in common with now no longer feature in their lives. It is all an indication of how we grow and evolve as we go through life. Things that may have been of interest in the past no longer are, and as those interests change so do life choices.
There are different phases in our life. This is a good thing. When we first start out we are looking to launch ourselves into the world. Only later, as we see what things are more important to us personally, as we define what our personal values and passions are, do our life desires change too. Often this can involve a feeling of making a contribution in the world, being more focused outside of ourselves.
This trend starts to happen as we achieve many of the things that we set out to do and have. We have and do all these things and then we begin to realise that fulfilment comes not from the stuff of life but from connection with life. That connection can take many forms. It might be contributing to others who are less fortunate. It might be working for an organisation that puts good out into the world. It might be about personal connection and realising that you do not want to work all hours but rather connect with family and friends and be there more for them.
It really doesn’t matter what our choices are as long as they make us feel happy and fulfilled. They need to be an expression of who we are now. They need to tick all our values and our current passions too. And I say that because it can be too easy to fall into the trap of serving others and not serving ourselves at all. It is my experience that we need the balance of both. We cannot give until we overflow and we cannot overflow until we fill our glass to the brim. When you feel that your life does not fit the first place to start looking is within you. What aspects of you are not being heard or seen? What aspects are not getting a look in? What passions have been forgotten? Address these questions and your life can begin to fit again. Not like an old glove but like a new fresh one.
So if you are beginning to feel that your life doesn’t fit you anymore just know that it is fine. It is the perfect time to explore all the possibilities that lie before you and you can start right now. Be bold, be outrageous and go for what would truly make you happy!